20 July 2010

for the children & Step up Non Believers

First off, thank you to We Write Poems and to Nicole Nicholson for the prompt. I loved it! Be sure you check out Nicole’s writing if you haven’t already over at Raven’s Wing Poetry.

“Sit at a table with pen and paper; put yourself in a ‘receptive’ frame of mind, and start writing. Continue writing without thinking of what is appearing beneath your pen. Write as fast as you can. If, for some reason, the flow stops, leave a space and immediately begin again by writing down the first letter of the next sentence. Choose this letter at random before you begin, for instance, a ‘t’, and always begin this new sentence with a ‘t’. Although in the purest version of automatism nothing is ‘corrected’ or re-written the unexpected material produced by this method can be used as the basis for further composition. What is crucial is the unpremeditated free association that creates the basic text.”

Included are my process notes and stream of consciousness writings. If the details and “hows” of the poems don’t interest you, scroll down to the titles(in bold) and read. It won’t hurt my feelings a bit. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
First Piece / Thursday
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Immediately after reading the prompt at We Write Poems, I selected the letter h, and the following flowed. It didn’t seem connected after writing the first three times, so I stopped and reread. Then I continued. Rereading helped it go somewhere.

Oh---I did not use pen and paper for this prompt. I love my trusty keyboard. It is one of my fondest friends.

One more thing before you start reading my streaming...for the first piece I listened to Peter Ostroushko(accomplished mandolin, violin..wow!) while composing words, while I wrote the second piece in quiet. Interesting that the first piece rhymes....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Streaming . . .

hours of time can dwindle away when you listen to what other people say the world

harbors thoughts of existence people free to be you and me and the thousand gazillion insects that fly from tree to tree

hiding inside bees’ hives underwater in the deep blue sea where every spider plays a mandolin and dances sweet with me

hallowed ground and hollowed gourds girder what’s to be and all the world slips silently beneath a troubled sea let it be let it be why must we mine our mother to supplant our nasty greed take heed take heed why must we mine our mother to supplant our nasty greed

hands inside the water shaking up the hive makes all the children wonder if anything’s alive the fear and deadness in their eyes is really no surprise when the only thing we’ve left to them is gaping gray skies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here’s where it went:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

for the children

hiding in a bee’s hive
underwater in the sea
every spider plays a mandolin and
dances sweet with me

hollowed ground and
hallowed gourds
girder what’s to be as
all the world slips silently
beneath a troubled sea

let it be

why must we mine our Mother
to supplant our nasty greed
take heed
take heed
why must we mine our Mother
to supplant our nasty greed

hands inside the water
shaking up the hive
make all the children wonder if
anything’s alive
the fear and deadness in their eyes is really no surprise
when the only thing we’ve left to them is gaping gray skies

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Second Piece / Tuesday
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Process ~~~~> I followed a stream of consciousness using the letter e. What follows blurted out so quickly I couldn’t stop my fingers. I watched The Fourth Kind this week(a film about alien abduction in Nome, Alaska), and it definitely colors this piece. Interesting to me is the fact that I had not consciously given the whole abduction thing much thought before writing this (I hope that does not mean I’m next….ha!).

AHA! I just posted the link to this piece at We Write Poems, then came back to reread this poem (not the streaming, just the piece). My husband and I fought recently, I said things I shouldn't have said, he withdrew. (dirty laundry :) I think Step up Non Believers is actually my response to those feelings. It was an interesting enough aha!, that I wanted to share it with my fellow poets---so there you go. (Sorry for airing our dirty laundry Len...I love my life with you.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Streaming…..

everywhere you look people are picking up the pieces of lives they no longer feel they control themselves everywhere lightning flashes until skies cave in and the atmosphere sucks them into the sky for the people to see what if feels like to be wanted to see what it feels like to be pulled spinning through a worm hole to an existence outside of this one, to a different reality

early on angst covers the people until the spinning screams and each body sucking through space tubes wails terror memories of being wanted fade when the vacuum tube spits them back onto Earth trembling piles of flesh
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now it’s time to play with it. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Step up Non Believers!

everywhere you look
people pick up pieces of
out of control lives
lightning flashes
until skies cave in and
atmosphere sucks the people into sky
to see what if feels like to be wanted
to see what it feels like to be pulled
spinning through a worm hole
to an existence outside of this one,
to a different reality
early on angst covers the people until
each body sucked through space straws
wails terror

memories of being wanted fade
when the vacuum tube spits them
back onto Earth
trembling piles of flesh
no one will ever
believe

14 comments:

Derrick said...

I think both of these are great!

brenda w said...

Thanks Derrick!

rob kistner said...

I really liked both of these Brenda, especially the fantastical essence of the second piece... good stuff...

...rob

C. R. Stone said...

Both reads are interesting enjoyed them both. Thanks for sharing.

flaubert said...

Brenda I like where this took you! Nice!
Pamela

brenda w said...

Rob, C.R., and Pamela- Thanks for stopping by and commenting. This prompt has been one of my favorites. It's interesting to see where you wind up!

barbara said...

No way can I write and listen at the same time. I do like your choice of music. I like the idea of spiders with mandolins--the shape's about right.
That's a great title on the second piece.

gautami tripathy said...

Truly great pieces!

like an automata

Stan Ski said...

Random, abstract thought transforms to very readable poetry, provoking, as it should, further thought...

hoiden said...

i enjoyed both...great poems...and got a little inspiration too:)hope u don't mind...thank u for stopping by my blog:)

Linda Goin said...

Hi Brenda -- what I love about reading other poets' works is the process...some poets don't share, and others -- like you -- take me to places I might never think about. I think you're the first person outside Stan who really edited your 'automatic writing,' and I was enthralled with your process. Lovely, but my fave is the first one. I'll have the image of the hives and the sounds of disturbing those hives in my head for a while this evening. Thanks.

brenda w said...

@Barbara-If the music is wordless and instrumental (not electronic!) I love to listen when I write. Words are too distracting. Thanks for the spiders and mandolin comment. I like the image, too.
@Guatami-Thank you for your comments. I enjoyed your post a great deal this week. (you all should check it out if you haven't!)
@Stan-Thanks--I'm glad it took you somewhere.
@hoiden--I'll come check it out--it brings me joy to think I inspired writing in another.
@ Linda--Thanks for your comments. Shaking up the hives disturbs me, too. Yesterday, NPR ran a piece about hundreds of penguins washing up on the shores of Brazil. They died of STARVATION. Bellies empty, swimming north for food. It makes me wonder if there's a connection. If the oil wiped out some elemental food source of the peguins....or maybe they are protesting with a fast, like whales are prone to do. (hey...there's food for a piece in there!)

neil reid said...

All good, all good! Two excellent poems here.

"For the Children" makes a strong statement without getting all "blue". More potent that way I think, allowing the meaning to be more received. Besides having simply great images! Hope also that you submit that poem to either or both of the Gulf sites listed at WWP. Please please do!

"Step up Non Believers" is breathtaking! (All the more for what you shared, and which I read afterward.) (And thank you for that.) What a wonderful painting of images (and on that topic), yet the images, each taken in hand one by one, suggest even more.

If these poems reveal what such poem plays are for you, then big yes, more please! Thanks Brenda!

brenda w said...

Neil, Thanks for your comments. You are bolstering my desire to try more pieces like this. I did send "for the children" to one of the Gulf sites....I'll let you know if I hear anything.

Your support feels good. I'm happy that you stopped by to read and comment!
~Brenda