wisps unfurl
a gluttonous famine
of forgetting until
obsolete memories scratch
on the present
illuminating emptiness
opening soul chasms
into angel moons that
blind you to yourself
duped into believing
words won’t flow
unless your monkey eats
wisps unfurl
a gluttonous famine
of forgetting until
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This piece is entitled it infinite loop, as it should be read continuously over, and over. The hidden message is up to each interpreter(or maybe it's just words?).
Shout out to Nathan Landau at Big Tent Poetry for the prompt. Poets were instructed to use stenography in their pieces, or "hide something in plain sight."
16 comments:
Brenda this is a lovely poem with a nice flow!
But I cannot find the message or maybe I am feeling dense today as I seem to be having trouble with most poems!
Pamela
You are suffering from a severe case of writers'
block and you thought of something then immediately forgot.(Probably not correct message)
this is an interesting take on the prompt, Brenda. ( one of my poems for this prompt is circular, too, but not quite obviously so) It's a neat effect, though I do have a little disconnect between monkey eats and wisps.
Pamela- Don't sweat the message, it's meant to be hidden. :)
Rall- Writers' block is in there..it's a bugger sometimes, eh?
Barbara- Sorry for the disconnect, a little ambiguity is good for the soul? :)
Thanks for stopping by ladies, it's always a pleasure to read your comments.
The monkey's throwing me off to, unless it relates to the saying about monkeys typing on computers to write Shakespeare...?
Actually I think the monkey might be the key. This poem makes me think of those writers and artists who truly believed that they could not do well unless they overwhelmed their senses with drugs or drink or sex and other things. And although many of them were fantastic at what they did, many of them died young due to that overindulgence. Just guessing here, but I like the poem and its rigid need to repeat itself.
Elizabeth
What happens if you don't have a monkey? I like the images in this even though I have no clue to the message!
Elizabeth- The monkey is key. Your insight is right on. Now don't you all go thinking that I'm a big druggie! That's always my fear with things like this. Back in the day, I did my share of dancing with the monkey on my back. Now the monkey on my back is enlightened, but that's a whole nother story!
Derrick- Monkey's can be quite annoying. Count your blessings. Thanks for your kind words, it's always nice to see you here!
Twitches--Nope, not Shakespeare, I like the image, though. :)
Wonderful take on the prompt! It's fun to read it over and over, I would have never thought of writing a poem on a loop function. Great post!
-Weasel
Loopdeloop. Over and over. Over and over. Sometimes a-muse, sometimes not. Anyway, it's a lovely read.
The scratch on the record is the monkey, causing it to play over and over. Only it's not true in oxymoron terrain that "words don't flow": they most certainly do. It's the waiting, the 'gluttonous famines' that are the hardest. Lovely mystery poem!
I love the ebb and flow of this piece...very interesting idea you came up with!
I've always liked circular structures (with a couple of my own attempts at it in the past). The monkey reference alluded to above puts me in mind of the jazz greats whose addiction led them to think they couldn't create unless they continued to feed it. Not that I'm saying that's what this is about :). "Gluttonous famine" is a great image, with its contradictions.
Wow. I like the circular form and won't soon forget "gluttonous famine" -- love the tension there.
Thank you all for your comments. I like gluttonous famine, too. It fell into my head...love when the muse works that way.
Francis-the circular structure was fun. What do you bet it will end up a prompt one of these weeks!
Cool take on the prompt. I like the loop, and "duped into believing" with duped having so many meanings. Nice!!
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