21 July 2010

Going to the Sun

for Len

Where do we go from here
when the hollow pit of nothing
opens its gaping mouth and
swallows us whole?
Why do illusions of perfection
conquer lives lived simply for regret?
When will we let go of childish pride and
ride to the sun forever in our hearts
forever in our arms
forever in us
Wounded words sink in
whalesong whirling
to the bottom of tumultuous seas,
while shadows of forever
whistle in the breeze.
I love you,
bigger than the little me
who whines so pitifully.
I love you.
Will I ever learn to dance it
through a filter gracefully?
With poetry,

Forgive me for my part in
shaking up forever.
Let your strong arms pull me down to
stitch me back together.

In response to Rallentanda's prompt, What's on my mind?


rallentanda said...

This is a very interesting and expressive poem. I like the wounded words in whalesong whirling
Your use of alliteration is impressive with good flow and rhythm.
Will I ever learn to dance it through a filter gracefully? I'd say probably not:)You sound a bit too spirited for that.Relationships are so complicated. It is all completely beyond me.I have no understanding of grown humans whatsoever. I am very good with small children and animals. I have always been in a relationship but have never understood what is happening around me. They say my head is in the clouds. It's true. I prefer it that way:)

brenda w said...

Thank Rall, Your comments are well received. I agree with the "probably not:)! It was likely a rhetorical question...thrown in for the idea. LoL
Frankly, I prefer animals to most grown people. I love the adolescents that I teach, and I love 2-3 year olds. Heads in clouds are good things.

Gordon Mason said...

I don't question what is behind the expressions in a poem, just evaluate it as a poem. I too liked the whale passage and the fact that while you had many questions in the poem they were answered in the poem and not left to the reader. Bravo!

Derrick said...

I love the language in this, the gentle rhyming and the imagery you have used! We can only hurt and be hurt by the ones we love. It may keep happening but a poem like this can only help!

Mary said...

Hey, Brenda, I just read your comments about preferring animals to most grown people. I will second that. And yes, 2 - 3-year-olds. My granddaughter that I watch daily is 2 1/2. Such a wonderful age.

And yes, relationships ARE hard!

twitches said...

"whalesong whirling/to the bottom of tumultuous seas" - just lovely!

Linda said...

I like the way the poem begins with a question, explores what is behind the question and then ends with —both an apology and a request or need. Lilting cadence to this poem—lovely.

brenda w said...

Rereading this after gadding about town--wow. It came so fast. It's nice to read your thoughts. Thank you for taking the time, to read, comment and offer encouragement.

Mary, Rallentanda also prefers spending time with animals and childfen...maybe it's the poet in us? Food for thought.

Stan Ski said...

We're all a part of 'forever', and it's individual differences, strengths and weaknesses etc. that make 'forever' such an interesting thing to be part of. I can understand, though, the desire to make 'our' part meaningful.

evalinn said...


J. D. Mackenzie said...

I really like the path this follows from the hollow pit of nothing early on, to the conclusion back together. Call it old school, I think it's great when there's a happy ending (my last poem notwithstanding. And your words are playing nicely together like the littles you enjoy so much.

Systematic Weasel said...

Excellent post! Relationships are a rather complicated idea, but grown people are even more so. A very enjoyable read!


Francis Scudellari said...

Add me to the list of those who enjoyed the "whalesong" passage. Also, the way you seem to invert the Icarus myth by urging a ride to the sun.

brenda w said...

Francis, Thanks for that take on Going to the Sun! It's actually the name of the highway in Glacier Park in the picture. I took it last Sunday, sticking my arm out the window of our Jeep. ha!

The Going to the Sun Highway opens between 28 May, and 25 June, depending on snowfall. It's an intense and beautiful road.