08 May 2010

the stowaway

in dreams
he is here
being me

i tell you
when i wake,
but you look
the other way
or say that
dreams are

believes me
when the nightly
conquest slips
into day

at the edges of
thought he peers
through my eyes
and rifles through
my life's file folders

his force intensifies
and i feel myself
dissipate until . . .

I walk in the
world again.



Thank you to Writer's Island for the prompt.


anthonynorth said...

To walk in the world again. Excellent.

flaubert said...

I love this. Beautiful.
"when the nightly
conquest slips
into day"

Stan Ski said...

Always something to hold us back... but the relief of the release...

Paul Oakley said...

Nice touch, stowing away in a dream! I like the image of life's file folders.

Dee Martin said...

Oh to stowaway in a dream - what a wonderful idea! Mine are usually boring or just plain weird. I like the idea of stowing away in someone elses :)


Linda Goin said...

Love that word, "rifling" -- it's so invasive and stealthy. like your dream.

brenda said...

Thank you all for your kindcomments...I do have to say that you have interpreted the piece in a rather different light than I meant it. Interesting dilemma for a poet, no?

The stowaway is meant to be a persona who starts by controlling the narrator "i" in dreams, begins to appear in narrator's waking world, then completely takes over as "I." It comes across when read aloud, but needs work otherwise? hmmm... thoughts? suggestions?

Thanks for stopping by.

Linda Jacobs said...

You have some beautiful lines in here! Love the file folders especially!

Wayne Pitchko said...

now I dont really know how to interpret your poem Brenda....and that is a GOOD thing...I really like it when readers interpret differently....well done indeed.....and I will read it again..and see where it takes me this time..

Julie Jordan Scott said...

love the shift in tone from dream to "hello"... reminds me of how I shift from moving from being a Mom to answering the telephone!

Lovely. Evokes curiosity in me!

vivienne blakd said...

Aha, on third reading, after your explanation, all becomes clear. Thankyou for the lovely poem and thanks for your interpretation.

Anonymous said...

Just read your explanation (and I have some poems that I wonder--where the heck did they read that meaning from?)
My interpretation was more of an incubus, dream lover, sort. Albeit more creepy and less sexual.
I did think of the possibility that the hello was the intruder's voice.
It may be that the confusion comes from the verb tenses through the poem, though I have no idea of a way to use that to clarify your meaning.