29 May 2010

First Love

Kyle pressed the accelerator to the floor
“If I can’t have you, no one will.”
The Beetle sailed down
Eternity Street east,
a steep street ending in a concrete
toilet house at the East of Eternity skate yard.

“Stop, stop,
I’ll do anything.
I love you,
I won’t leave,
I promise.
I love you.
I’ll do anything
I love you.”

The words screamed
from my throat
without me.

Kyle slammed on the brakes
at the bottom of the hill.
The Beetle screeched
burning rubber up over the curb
it’s back end twirling toward the toilet house.
All four tires flattened.
Pushing open my door, I ran to the alleyways of childhood.
Hiding behind trashcans.
Heart pounding.
Love. Love.
Why did love bring fists and fury?
Why did love control?

After the alley, I walked
across our dark hometown,
climbed Mount Helena and
slept in the Devil’s Kitchen.

The Devil’s Kitchen is a cave along the rock cliff face of Mount Helena. It is cool and dark. A shout out to Cassiopeia Rises for the prompt, “love” offered up at One Single Impression.


flaubert said...

Some frightening love there!
Well done Brenda.

brenda said...

Thank you Pamela. The scariest part, is that love like that can set patterns of behavior in one so young.

Tammie said...

bravo, well written and a sad tale of a common frightening story. Yes patterns are often set at a young young age.

Loch Rob said...

Wow, your work is so real. It exudes a sense of fear in the midst of this situation. I think I would have run too and not turned around. Scary.

Aayushi Mehta said...

"Why did love control?"
Loved this, and as a first time visitor, loved your blog! Keep up the great work.

brenda said...

Tammie-Thanks for the bravo! I do worry for some of my students.
Rob-Thanks for your comments. "real" is good. :) scary is real for too many young people.
Aayushi-Your kind words brought a smile. Thank you. I just changed my blog template today. Although some content is still dark, the blog itself is lighter. :) I'm happy to see you here.

The Dark Lord said...

Very well written, a great take on the prompt. Love can be fiery, it could be controlling, but its pull is indeed irresistible!

anthonynorth said...

Love can have frightening moments. Excellently done.

Harshad mehta said...

"Pushing open my door, I ran to the alleyways of childhood."

Bendra, opening the door of past memory put in words so well.

Daring. Subject is not so uncommon yet not often put in words especially poems.

Amity said...

I must say, it's love in the season of autumn, dark, dreary and frightening!

Check mine Brenda to find out what am talking about!

I like this one as you have presented the aspect of love in one season! Autumn!

Leo said...

Pushing open my door, I ran to the alleyways of childhood.

this line was the best in the poem i think..
very nice..

SandyCarlson said...

Love out of control can be a frightening, devastating force. This was compelling!

brenda said...

Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. When a piece takes me somewhere darker, support is good. :) You all rock!

Harshad-I though twice about attempting to tackle this story...and it is just as you said, it happens often, but is not treated often in poetry. I strove to create a piece young adults can read, and hopefully heed its unspoken warning.

Ramesh Sood said...

My first visit perhaps..Brenda..lovely poem..the line..The words screamed
from my throat without me.. brought a lump in my throat.. yes, childhood is an adventurous place to be in ..sometimes scary but then some fears stay very long..fears you want to hug..for letting them go would be demeaning the moments from which they sprung..

brenda said...

Ramesh--the line you mentioned brings a lump to my throat, too. Thank you for your kindness, and your visit.

Dances With Loons said...

Wow, powerful, brings the reader right there with you. Thank you for sharing something so traumatic and intimate so that others may know the destruction that can be called by this name 'love'.

Sweetest in the Gale said...

This was intense, and I felt every emotion behind the words. Love should never hurt, but for so many people it does.

Tumblewords: said...

Ah, so many shades of love. This is not a fine one. Excellent reminder/post!

gabrielle said...

"the words screamed
from my mouth
without me"

Your writing is raw and immediate. It is as if she is still running and I am running with her.

A potent cautionary experience to be sharing!

Pearl said...

love? testosterone, yes, control, check.

love for self for seeking shelter away from the mania.

brenda said...

Pearl, You must be a good voice of reason for friends in sticky situations. Cut to the chase. Pointed comments. You remind me of my friend Kate. :) Thanks!

gabrielle, Loon.... I like that I brought the situation so close to the surface for readers. It's a good thing to hear. Thanks!

Tumblewords...yup, not fine indeed. rather ugly and controlling. Good thing life keeps moving on...