28 May 2011

mother me a meteor

She orbits, a planet
turning against her
striding self,
afraid of fallen angels
frolicking in yellow fields,
afraid of crying winds
whisking hair into tails—
wild things,
winding life with leaves
whipping in the gravity
of twilight’s last glow.

She envies each of the planets
and dreams herself a meteor
falling a fiery hole into Earth
free from fear forever.

She orbits like a planet
parched and pierced with
no intent and purpose.
Round and round and
she goes—
if she stops
she never knows.

This piece was inspired by words from a Wallace Stevens' poem pulled and posted at a wordling whirl of Sundays. Click on the wordle to visit other responses to the words. You'll be glad you did.


lucychili said...


Mary said...

The second stanza is my favorite, Brenda. I just love 'she dreams herself a meteor.'

Fireblossom said...

I am loving that title and the poem you made from it.

Thanks for the "midnight ride" through my comments this morning, lol. They ARE coming. Geez.

angie said...

she sounds like a teacher, round and round she goes!!

I love it, the whole planet-thing fascinates me. love the angels coming back, too, with their yellow fields. I hope she finds her meteor.

flaubert said...

Wow! The words worked beautifully in this piece. Nice work.


brenda w said...

~Lucychili, I feel that, too.
~Mary, That's my favorite line, too. Well that and the title, which just popped into thought.
~Fireblossom, I love to see your colors here, and am pleased you like the poem.
~angie, That is likely where that line came from...round and round like a teacher, ha! Yes, the angels revisited yellow. Thanks for your words.
~Pamela, Thank you. I really did fear mimicking Stevens, but it took its own route.

Laurie Kolp said...

Powerful, Brenda... I especially like the first verse!

Isabel said...

lovely imagery, great poem

Elizabeth said...

Like this one Brenda. It has a sense of mystery to it, yet feels somehow familiar. Not because of the wordle words, but the image in the second stanza. You took this one out into the Universe, yet somehow kept it private and personal. I am really beginning to like the wordles. You might want to come take a look at the Tuesday Collabs we are doing at the
http://claudetteellinger.wordpress.com/ site.

Thanks for doing this each week,


Henry Clemmons said...

A meteor. Like it. Clever use of the words.

brenda w said...

~Laurie, Thank you for stopping and commenting. The first stanza reminds me of Steven's piece more than the rest of it. I really love his piece...
~Isabel, Thank you for stopping by, it's nice to see you again.
~Elizabeth, Your comments illuminate ideas in my work that I wake me up. I love having you amongst my blog friends. When summer begins to calm my life again, I will have time open for writing collaboration. Thank you for the invite.
~Henry, My husband and I have wedding rings of meteorite. The man who made them is Chris Ploof. He does amazing work.
Ploof Meteorite Rings


Anonymous said...

Brenda, this is a lovely poem from a great wordle.

I love the last two lines. They say so much, so simply.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it wonderful when a poem takes over, dictating its path to the poet? I love this one, and your use of alliteration is not too much, not too little, but just right

Traci B said...

Vibrant and poignant at the same time. Great poem, Brenda.

barbara said...

I like the way you use her planet-ness.. The first time, IS, the second, LIKE.
And dreaming herself a meteor. A planet person could easily tire of being dependable.

Marianne said...

I love everything about this poem, Brenda! Great title ... and "winding life with leaves" is spectacular! Your second stanza really resonates with me.

Anonymous said...

I like the whole planet thing but the title is my favourite line.

Francis Scudellari said...

We're all made from the stuff of planets and meteors, so it's a calling back to our true selves :). I like the sense you've captured of yearning for rebirth.

brenda w said...

~Tilly, Thank you for stopping by and commneting. I'm glad you liked the wordle.

~Viv, Thank you for your compliments. And yes, when the words take over it makes our jobs easier, and fun!

~Traci B., I like yours, too. Thanks.

~Barbara, Doi...I didn't even notice, but might pull out the like. Not sure on that. Thanks for your comments.

~Francis, Thank you for the rebirth bit. It's something I didn't see myself, but you are right, it's in there. And, I like it.


annell said...

I found this one difficult, but with a little more trying, I think I got something?

Mr. Walker said...

Brenda, the motion and emotion in this is amazing. I love that opening, "turning against her / striding self" - and how she "dreams herself a meteor" - how you make falling a beautiful thing, a release, a break from motion.


Cathy said...

Very good and very interesting too.