25 April 2011

NaPoWriMo 25 ~ not a sonnet

In a bizarre turn of prompts…ha! I read a few of the responses poets had to NaPoWriMo’s prompt yesterday to use a list of words as end rhymes in a sonnet. I tried a sonnet, and do have something in the works…but it just might stay there. Instead, I used the words, or any form I saw fit, in this piece. It’s a bit bawdy, and I don’t do that often in poetry….but my “gut” tells me that it’s about aging.

I must confess to stealing a phrase from poet and blogstress Tilly Bud for this piece. In her response to the NaPoWriMo prompt, she used the phrase, bulldoze the blues. I loved it, and incorporated it in this piece.

Tilly Bud taught me this: If the prompt falsifies your poem, find a way to make it authentic.

Here are the words: rage, doom, age, tomb , sighs, breast, thighs, west, mad, blues, plaid, shoes, fail, mail.

I think aging is best served aloud. In my preference, the last stanza has a bit of a sailor song feel to it. eh hey!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

aging

Raging at plaid
my breasts heave out this huge sigh
so they can feel something bigger than
“more than a mouthful’s a waste.”

Black shoes maryjane their way beneath my age,
mad about westward expansion and high heels.
Thighs bulldoze the blues with cellulite crescendos.

Send it in the mail
and if that fails—
it’s all about doom
and a moss covered tomb.

If the world survives one more day—
eh hey—
If the world survives one more day—

14 comments:

imnotaverse said...

lol! I love the fun you had with this.

And I'm flattered you liked somthing of mine enough to borrow it :)

Mary said...

Nicely written 'aging' poem. I thought that perhaps the last verse was expressing something people sometimes do when they age. Repeating, eh hey? Repeating, eh hey!

brenda w said...

Tilly, Your poems and blog bring me a great deal of laughter. I'm glad you are out there. Yes, it was fun to write!

Mary, I wasn't thinking about the repetition at the end like that. ha! Good thinking. Good thinking.

~Brenda

Stan Ski said...

One more day... and one more... and one more...

Marianne said...

This is a wonderful piece! Loved "Raging at plaid" and "Black shoes maryjane their way." Genuine and creative.

Elizabeth said...

"Thighs bulldoze the blues with cellulite crescendos" Whew! That's a mouthful of image and fun. Thanks for the laughter,

Elizabeth

Ron. said...

Nothing is ever wasted.

Francis Scudellari said...

Rules are good, but circumventing them is often better. We can all use with a bit of bawdy now and then too. It was fun to ride along with it.

flaubert said...

Brenda, an original and fun piece. Bawdy can good sometimes;)

Pamela

Mama Zen said...

Love it!

M. A. S. said...

This is fun. I really like the 2nd stanza.

Mr. Walker said...

I like the connection between your body and the clothes/shoes in those first two stanzas. And I like the proximity of aging and raging.

Linda said...

Cellulite crescendos

Perfect.

Gloria said...

I'm with Linda...cellulite crescendos cracked me up! ;)