This is my first response to a wordle at
a wordling whirl of Sundays. I had no idea that this piece would evolve from those words; it is quite dark. The first two lines came, and I mulled them over. I decided to just go for it, and write this piece from the perspective of someone who is the creep’s captive. I watch enough crime drama on television that the rest came easily. The last two lines are a Zen koan. They refer to the idea that seeing the Buddha means it is separate somehow from yourself. That image is an illusion. It is not the true essence of Buddhist practice.
cheap and horrible nows
Sharp and piquant the creep’s sweat
diminishes everything else
quenching her desire to live.
Dragon tattoos
clench talons around
children’s pinwheels
in a horrible tug-of-war
while he squeezes his
“magic muscle show
to replenish her soul.”
Over and over
until she finally understands
eternal Nows.
Cheap tissue covers bones.
Illusion steals the real.
Illusion steals the real.
If you see the Buddha on the road,
kill him.
14 comments:
I love "cheap tissue covers bones"
and the last stanza is astounding.
As you say - dark, with lots of disturbing images.
Well written piece - great use of the wordle.
Definitely a dark and chilling poem. Excellent use of words, Brenda.
Raw and brutal ... great use of the wordle. I thought 'tissue' was the trickiest word to fit in, but you did it! Well done!
This cheap tissue enjoyed this poem very much. Whoever we kill, we kill the Buddha. Well done.
Amazing use of the wordle words, Brenda. It is a dark and gripping tale. So, well written, I didn't even notice the wordle words. I had to go back and read a second time to pick them out.
Pamela
Happy Easter!
Thank you all for stopping and commenting. It sounds like some of you are trying the wordle, too. That's great! I can't wait to see what transpires from it.
Marrianne, "Tissue" was tricky to fit in, that's why it came toward the end. ha! That's one reason I like wordles, they can surprise me during the writing.
Pamela, Happy Easter to you, too, and all you all!
We just got back from a weekend trip to my parents' place in the mountains. It's beautiful, and was nice enough to spend some time outside. I took a mess of pictures, and will use one for a poem later in the week. It's good to be home writing and reading with you all again.
Dark, indeed...but some of the words just went that way!
I just posted my attempt on your wordle site! :)
Yes dark, but also vivid and those last lines are terrific. My response to the wordle will be up tomorrow, and thanks for choosing some of these words from my site.
Elizabeth
Brenda, this was much darker than usual, and you have a good thing going with this mood. The Wordle obviously drew a veil over you and caught you in its web! I agree with M.A.S., "cheap tissue covers bones" is the best phrase. Says volumes about self-worth and grace.
Amy
http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/new-to-this-church-easter-2011/
I picked a wordle, I see it wasn't this one? But I loved the selection of words.
The words suggested darkness to me too, and I really like how you shaped them. It does a great job of letting the reader interact with this world through the senses of the victim. The ending is perfect too.
And thanks for including a few of my words :).
Stark and spare - the language and the imagery - it has a hopeless quality. The "eternal Nows" should be glorious, but they seem tainted.
Fun Wordle!
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