02 June 2010

Hope Beyond these Doors

A Ghazal for the Class of 2014

Middle school is finished. Life waits beyond these doors.
Your childhood diminished, it abates beyond these doors.

Rush headlong into glory. Stimulate your brain.
Generate your story through gates beyond these doors.

High school unveils riddles of enigmatic futures.
Every moment whittles your fates beyond these doors.

Countless contributions rise as possibility.
Seek out new solutions to relate beyond these doors.

While Mrs. Warren’s classroom grew with inklings of your yearnings,
the world expects a huge debut—go great beyond these doors.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another ghazal, I know! Thanks to We Write Poems for the prompt, "doors." Friday is the last day of school. (woo hoo!) This is a rough draft...I keep changing it (don't be surprised if you come back to a totally different piece at some point!). Thanks for taking the time to read my words.

15 comments:

Diane T said...

I enjoyed your ghazal and its optimistic ending.

http://troublebeingstrong.blogspot.com/2010/06/unlock-door.html

Mary said...

I love this poem and and its forward-looking for the class of 2014, whose whole life (pretty much) lies ahead of them! I enjoy the ghazal form and will have to try my hand at writing one. You are inspiring me.

http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/06/lavender-key.html

flaubert said...

"go great beyond these doors"
Love this Brenda! I think someday I will try the ghazal!
Pamela

brenda said...

Mary and Pamela(and Diane, too!)--Robert Lee Brewer is hosting a ghazal challenge for Writer's Digest. You can submit three ghazal's until June 9th. Intensify the competition! Join in!

You can access Brewer's blog, Poetic Asides, under "Tangential Treats" to the right of my posts. When you get there, search for ghazal...you'll find it.

While Brewer is allowing for some play with the form, I have been struggling to stick diligently to it with an internal rhyme structure.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoy this piece. I have mostly 8th graders this year...endings(new beginnings) are always bittersweet.

Linda Goin said...

I'll echo Brenda -- get this ghazal hence to Writer's Digest (http://blog.writersdigest.com/poeticasides/CommentView,guid,51928599-bb9d-4eab-b6bf-50199c046d11.aspx -- direct link to the post where you can drop your ghazal in)! I loved it...it read so naturally, and it was filled with such love and optimism...what a song. I have told my daughter this for years, love to see it in your poem, "Every moment whittles your fates beyond these doors."

brenda said...

Linda --- I am Brenda...LOL. Thank you for your kind comments, and for the direct link to the drop box. I'll wait a few days to see if I make any more changes to the piece. Plus, poets are allowed only three entries. I've already entered "Ghazaling Nows." (Though I like this piece better!)

Paul Oakley said...

The repetitions of the form and its rhythm called to my fevered mind Noël Coward's "Mad About the Boy"!

Nice verse in graduationese-reflecting "beyond these doors." Enjoyed this, Brenda.

Francis Scudellari said...

If I were one of those young minds, I would feel stirred. Congrats on the end of another school year :).

brenda said...

Paul, I'm not familiar with that work, but I always appreciate a fevered mind. :)

Francis, Thanks for the encouragement, and the congrats, too!

mypoeticlicense said...

We were both on the same wavelength...education, doors. That's where it ended, as yours was much more hopeful, full of great promise! Nice send-off through your doors, to mine, so jaded.

- Dina

angie said...

oh, I love this!
I've noticed this form popping up lately and I've been toying with the idea of forcing some structure on myself. (it would take some powerful force!)

anyway, I love ghazal! the repetition works beautifully, exactly as it is intended. love it. really inspiring message, too.

and enjoy your summer! our school let out last week and I have done pretty much nothing all week -- it feels wonderful!

1965 Footprints said...

Great! You inspired me to look up what a ghazal is. I may have to try one! Thanks!

Raven's Wing Poetry said...

I love this!

I've always admired the ghazal form, but usually don't tackle it due to my own trepidation. You did it justice here. Well done.


-Nicole

Wayne Pitchko said...

im just an old poet and painter....ghazal is new to me....well done Brenda

Mr. Walker said...

The ghazal is a good form for this prompt - and the idea of your poem. That repetition works really well here. I should have written an end of the year poem about doors. (Maybe I still will).