The Big Tent prompt this week asked that we think of things that we would love to do, but never dared. Needles to say, this prompt led me to an odd place. A secret desire to try heroin took harbor about my being when I was a just a wee lass. Access to heroin in my experimental days did not exist. Often I thank the universe for keeping it away from me when I would have happily succumbed. Now I don't dare. I love my life. Maybe I’ll try it if I reach 80, but by then the desire may be lost in a myriad of whispers that I don’t understand.
~~~~~~~~
heroin
living for the moment
that the needle pierces skin
shhhwwwooooooo
tiny tubes of blood
pull it in
pull it in
it moves across my shoulders
and down my other arm
through my legs and to the floor
where I lie safe from harm
dirty
drugged
in heaven
where I lie safe from harm
angels brush my body
waltzing through the sky
and all the other addicts
moan and sigh
moan and sigh
turning tricks for fixes
trying to stay high
heroin’s a Judas
that I’m glad I didn’t try
18 comments:
It's killed too many people I once knew as friends.
Great post!
This poem chills me to the bone. I'm glad you didn't try it too.
http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2010/06/tauranga-jet-boat-ride.html
your instinct to include repetition in this piece is right on, i think!
wow -- great poem. powerful!
and if you ever want to NOT try herion, watch the movie "trainspotting" with ewan mcgregor; takes the glam right out of it!
Brenda spine chilling poem! Wow!
And Angie is right "Trainspotting" is some kind of movie!
Pamela
Glad you didn't try it—the poem is chilling enough.
Agreed with Stan... I've lost a number of family members and at least one friend to it. You captured its blissfully destructive nature perfectly, I think.
Very disturbing in a good way! So glad it had the ending it did...
Surprise ending! Glad you didn't. Really portrays drug addiction well.
Your appreciation of this piece feels good. I worry about the reception of some of my darker work.
Thank you. And thanks for the movie tip. I can't wait to find "Trainspotting" at the video store. Perhaps this weekend. (School's out for summer!)
Glad you missed that event! The poem is powerful and wonderful, however!
I'm glad you didn't try, didn't try...great sounds, repetition and enough of a knowledge to make it all feel very real. Bravo.
I like the repetition and rhyming -- makes the raw subject slightly surreal, heightened even more as an idea. Appreciate the honesty of the post.
Just the word heroin scares me to my bone. A self-inflicted disease, always looming and luring, waiting for another open-minded soul that wants to open their mind just a little more.
I think you're somehow brave in your interest, but so strong (and smart) to refrain. So, so lucky that it wasn't around during your experimental days. It could've been an interesting experience, but there's a great chance that it could've been life-altering/ending.
Such a honest, wonderfully written poem, Brenda.
- Dina
This is an intriguing poem. I felt that the last stanza needs some work- it seems like you ended up with a cliche that made the poem suddenly drop from its flight. The rest is wonderful.
Thank you Sue, Linda, Deb, Dina, and Pam for stopping by to read Heroin. I appreciate your comments. (this summer I want to figure out how to do the comment/reply option...maybe blogger doesn't have it?)
Pam..Thanks for your honesty regarding the last stanza. That nagged at me when I wrote it, but it came out so easy...I left it there. Still not sure about it, but there it is for now.
Such a challenging, "right in your face" poem! Beautifully controlled and directed!
And regarding my post "I Am Who I Am"...I have now added the following to my post:
Believe it or not
"I am YOUR COMPUTER!
("personal screen" + "engineered minds")
You see
You taught me so much
That now I live
And breathe!
(Linda was right on track!)"
~
It's a judgment call. If you're making a statement, you probably want to keep the last section or some variation on it. If you want to get rid of the weighted language, you might also take out "dirty" and "addicts".
I do like "angels brush my body/ waltzing through the sky" and the bookend repetitions a whole lot.
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