scissors rip wrists until
blood pulses red streams
that pool in linoleum shallows
silver flashes in a falling hand
eyes hollow
everything stops
outside my window
rain comes
rain goes
~~~~~~~~~~
The first stanza is a poem created while I watched Law & Order on American TV. This is a show that airs during top family viewing hours. I am not sure of the title and am willing to entertain suggestions.
My intent with the piece was to make every word count. So it’s sparse.
Thank you to the Poet’s United Poetry Pantry for providing a space to share this poem.
14 comments:
Excellent post! I used to watch law and order all the time when it came on (it still does, just no time for me t watch, lol). Wonderfully crafted!
-Weasel
Wow, Brenda. I still watch Law and Order, but not all the time. I particularly like the lines, rain comes, rain goes. An excellent lesson about life.
Law and Order continues to be one of my favorites. I don't care if they are repeats or not.
The poem gives me a vivid picture of the blood pooling...similar to the outside-your-window rain pooling.
Excellent imagery! Every word did count. Amazing poem.
Thank you for stopping by to read and comment. I'm glad you liked it. I might try another tv scene to post this week.
It is odd, though, that this falls in family television hour. Esp. when I think of what was on during the same time when i was a kid. Things change, eh?
You did make each word count, Brenda...the imagery is vivid and immediate!
I thought 'Of Blood and Rain', might make a good title. I so enjoyed this poem...
I only hope the kids are watching the rain....this poem pissed me off. You done good.
- Dina
Great take on Family TV...that is why I never watch it...thankfully my kids are grown...never let them watch it growing up...there definitely a problem with our broadcasting...bkm
Love the contrast between all the upheaval and the consistent rain, just.....raining. Good metaphor for earth's moving through its cycles while humans crash and thrash about, hee hee.......Very well done, I enjoyed it a lot.
Vivid.
cool,
love the feelings of seeing rain falls and stops...
Nothing stops the world from turning.
Said so well in so few words.
Wow, powerful writing, Brenda.
law and order is great! XD And this is even a great poem!:D Thank for sharing
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