21 August 2010

Great Granddaughter's Visit

dip a paddle deep in time’s river
mirrored wormholes lure through
tomorrow’s stars yesterday
great granddaughter tells tales
of glass encased cities spread
over crumbled dead Earth
eyes wend a destruction story
already several months in

older than you she begins,
“It starts with a slow dying ocean,
until all that’s left is a shell. . .”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Visit Writer’s Island for more interesting, bizarre, and delightful takes on the prompt: Time travel.

For a little something different, visit Prompts for G10(linked on blog sidebar).

23 comments:

Diane T said...

You have a great granddaughter? Wow! I love her take on things, at only 10 years old. Beautifully written!

brenda w said...

Ha! No Diane, the premiss for me is that Great Granddaughter comes through the wormhole to warn us about the Earth's destruction.
Thanks for your comments. :)

brenda w said...

I changed the piece from "already 10 years in, to already 4 months in"

Hopefully that will direct readers to the idea that the destruction began with the BP disaster.(?)

flaubert said...

Brenda this is poignant piece and I love the last stanza it says so much. Have a great weekend!
Pam

Kelly said...

Wow - great perspective. Chilling. Nice work, Brenda.

Mary said...

Brenda, the ending is chilling. One hopes that the worst is over now, and renewal will begin.

brenda w said...

Pam, Thanks. I hope your weekend brings you joy, too. Meetings for me Monday/Tuesday, then kids come Wednesday!

Kelly, Thank you.

Mary, I appreciate your comment, and hope your are right on!

anthonynorth said...

She has a great imagination.

Gordon Mason said...

Great flow. Enjoyed the first line to read out loud.

pan said...

Wonderful imagery, I could see the "glass encased cities spread over crumbled dead Earth".

A chilling tale that I hope does not turn out to be prophetic of what could be. :-(

Very nice writing.

Carrie Burtt said...

Brenda this is an amazing poem...i think it is one of my favorites of yours. :-)

Stan Ski said...

Without the reference to BP, it sounds possible - with it, it sounds probable...

Systematic Weasel said...

The ending is a chilling one. Excellent post! =)

-Weasel

Wayne Pitchko said...

i got 5 grand daughters...and they are all GREAT.....just like your words Brenda....thanks for sharing

vivienne blake said...

The way your mind leapt forward was almost frightening. My first attempt at this prompt followed roughly the same lines, but so ineptly that I junked it. You may have inspired me to have another go. Thank you.

ViV

totomai said...

i hope it's not really about the earth's lament :-) an insightful poem

Tilly Bud said...

Excellent poem! Scary; as it should be.

keiths ramblings said...

Great poem with quite a sting its tail.

Elizabeth said...

Brenda, this reminds me of a couple of things that Marge Piercy wrote. And it sounds like the intro into a wonderful story of furture imagination. Really great take on the prompt.

Elizabeth

rob kistner said...

Very sobering piece, I pray we never get that far lost...

...rob

jinksy said...

A daunting prospect for the future...

Mary said...

Brenda, congratulations to you on having your blog recognized as the blog of the week by Poets United! The honor is definitely well deserved.

Sherry Blue Sky said...

WOW! "dip a paddle deep in time's river......" and the ending, the dead ocean........this is a fantastically powerful poem, the more so because your readers have to imagine and figure it out as they read...........REALLY good poem!