16 August 2010

Huh?

hose off your pineapple dude
knock off the silk mumbo jumbo
you think zeroes streaming outta your mouth’ll make a difference?
the baked days of summer are blown
the gig is up
moisten your pencil lead
plant yourself deep
pot’s not gonna save you now
stop driving your brain car
through barren tundra
learn to deal
chill
get a towel and
dry off


~~~~~~~~~~~
This came out as fast as my fingers can type. Bizarre, but it makes sense to me.

My only prompt to myself aside from a wordle at Big Tent, was to write something in an angry tone. I'm not sure this is really angry...but that was my starting intent.

If you haven't already, check out the prompt at Big Tent Poetry. That way you can contribute your own whacked writing. Or perhaps something deeply moving and profound. Either way, wordles are fun. I'll try my hand at another for Friday's posting under the Big Tent.

I also posted this in Poets United Poetry Pantry. Go there to check out some awesome work!

19 comments:

mypoeticlicense said...

Very funny to read. I have a hard time reading it as angry, but man, a reprimanding tone definitely does come through!

What I saw was this guy in all his cleaned-up-bakedness (yeah, that can be a word) scolding those he's surpassed, in the most passionate of his "native" tongue. Looks like you had fun workin' those words!

- Dina

00dozo said...

Ha, ha! This was fun!

"stop driving your brain car
through barren tundra"

Terrific line. It describes me right now - I just can't seem to find the exit ramp. It's gotta be the heat.

jinksy said...

stop driving your brain car
through barren tundra

Wish I could do this more in the longstetches of a sleepless night! lol :)

Systematic Weasel said...

This was a fun read! Some people need to learn to chill, lol! Awesome post!

-Weasel

Carrie Burtt said...

I love what you did with this....it is fun and has such a great message! :-)

Mary said...

This made me kind of smile, though it was written in an angry tone...as truthfully it did sound like the poem of someone whose summer vacation was winding down! Nice work!

Paul Andrew Russell said...

I don't know why but this reminded me of being a child and having to go back to school after the summer holidays were over.

Nice piece of writing.

Gerry Boyd said...

i dig your jive chatter baby-o,

brenda w said...

Thanks Dina! (I'm rolling my eyes at bakedness. lol)

OOdozo, I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for reading my work. My brain gets there, too.

Jinksy, :) Thanks for stopping by and making me smile.

Weasel, No doubt about chilling, thanks for your kind words.

Carrie, Glad you liked it!

Mary, Right you are, oh woe is me. ;) Actually I'm getting excited for the school year. Up down, back forth, push pull...

Paul, That's where it gets me too, then I see them in the classroom, and know what lazy summers did to their brains.

Gerry, scooby dooby dooo wah

Bernadine said...

Hi Brenda, I came across your blog through Poets United :)

I absolutely loved this, and have to admit I read it a couple of times, and laughed, said "wow", and smiled.

What a great way with words, and wonderful tone and style. And I have to admit, I also love the line, "stop driving your brain car
through barren tundra"

willow said...

Oh, this is great! Some of the best stuff comes out so fast, doesn't it?

Francis Scudellari said...

I read it as a "Pineapple Express" kind of angry... that is tinged with a lot of humor.

wv=chide, which is very appropriate

Derrick said...

What you talkin' 'bout sistah?!

flaubert said...

Brenda maybe a little angry but funny nonetheless!
Pamela

gospelwriter said...

I liked your word stream a lot - and yes, it made sense to me too, in a modern rap sort of way. Would have loved to hear you read it. :)

Elizabeth said...

Actually, this reminded me of an English teacher way back in high school who occasionally climbed up on his desk and harangued us about how much we lost by visiting the 'snake pit' (small diner, where lunch time was a cloud of blue smoke and the jostling of bodies against one another)located across from the school. He could go on and on, and I had such a hard time not breaking out in laughter because what he said was as incredibly creative as your poem, but oh so true. Thank you for the memory, haven't thought about that in years, lol.

Elizabeth

Diane T said...

It is a bit bizarre, but terribly funny. Loved it! Shows your personality, LOL.

b_ said...

Love love love the voice!

Paul Oakley said...

I enjoyed the shift in tone here, Brenda. This was a whole lotta fun to read! It's all great, but I loved these lines:

stop driving your brain car
through barren tundra


If only we could get people to do that!