01 June 2011

a string of piku

swallow dives
backwards in wind
airplane flies
turbulent wind
lives become wind
whoosh! cries the
whistling its sin

A shout out to Tilly Bud, who got me writing piku this week. Tilly authored the prompt at We Write Poems this week. Here it is:
Write a piku. (a cross between a haiku and the first three numbers of pi.)

three lines
3 syllables Line 1
1 syllable Line 2
4 syllables Line 3

choose one or two key words
find rhymes for them
slightly re-write the first piku


Mary said...

Well done, Brenda. I had such fun with the form, and I sense you did too. The third is, sadly, so true this year.

Dave King said...

Intriguing. Might have a go at this.

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Anonymous said...

Well done! I prefer your style of piku, with shifts in meaning more than rhyme. Still, I agree it was a very fun exercise.

Anonymous said...

I like the variety of meanings you have given to your piku - I am too one-track-minded!

Anonymous said...

I like your piku.

In one aspect, your piku remind me of ghazals...especially the first three in which you retained the ending rhyming word, "wind". Then there is a shift...the wind stops being the thing acted out/through/against by the subjects in the first three piku and then is clearly pointed out as the offender in the fourth piku.


E. Johnson said...

Intriguing connection between these pikus. Well written!

Mr. Walker said...

Brenda, I like your take on the linked pikus, returning to that same end word, except for the last stanza, where it stands forth in the middle. (My punning self now wants to write piku using wind and wound).

flaubert said...

Brenda, I like how these turned out.


Wayne Pitchko said...

nicely done Brenda.....I couldnt get into this form.....you certainly did well

Poets United said...

As Poets United reaches its first anniversary this coming week we want to thank you for your support. Over the past year we have grown to 250 members plus and are steadily growing. Poets United is proud to have you as one of our members and look forward to another successful year. You imagination, creativity and willingness to share with us is what makes our community such a wonderful place. Thank you for beautiful poetry and thank you for being a part of Poets United.

Somerset Wedding Girl said...

Interesting, I like the equals sign dotted all the way through, what was the intended effect of this?