08 June 2011


with your tail so sharp
and your aim so true
I fear the air surrounding you.

You’re a slithering sneak
with a raven’s beak
and the face
of a striking young man.

Your feathered reptilian wings
spread flight in circling rings.
Your neck stretches scales
and your serpentine tail
threatens to impale
little me.
Oh my!
It threatens to impale
little me.

Here is the prompt from We Write Poems. “Think of a child’s painting (like something on the refrigerator). What creatures might there be? Something fanciful, something mysterious, something you’ve never ever seen before! Maybe like something from a dream, or maybe just what your fingers might doodle on their own, surprising you. What might they mean to you observing now? Close your eyes for a moment, let the images dance, be willing to listen to their voices and see what poem they want to write!”

I imagined a creature rising up out of the mist and wrote this in the car yesterday on a Montana road trip (of course I travel with a copy of poetry prompts!).


flaubert said...

Brenda, you have captured the child's vivid imagination, quite well in this. Didn't we all create some kind of imaginary creature, when we were young. Love the title.


btw I started a wordpress blog on Sunday, and am still fumbling round in it. I think I may like it better than blogger. There are so many bells and whistles, though.

brenda w said...

Thanks Pamela, I was after the child's perspective. I'll check out your wordpress blog. If you haven't emaile me about it, already, send me a link. It will take some time to work out the kinks, but I like it, too. I'll keep gathering stones at my spot. I'm trying to figure out Mr. Linky now as a widget for the Sunday whirl.

Mr. Walker said...

Brenda, you captured that quality of a child's art, that blending of features. I love "I fear the air surrounding you." You get in the shape of the art - and the negative space too.


Elizabeth said...

I think you capture the child in each of us with this one. We are all abit leery of our own creations and the air that surrounds them.


Mike Patrick said...

When I was young, something like that lived under my bed. Once the lights were out, it was there until the sun came up.

Mary said...

I can picture this creature. It definitely sounds like a being a child would create.

Anonymous said...

A surprising creature indeed. I think children will love this poem - as I do. It carries the spirit of childhood.

Ron. said...

monstrously good, B.

Cynthia said...

strong poem. great beat.