my two men
break trail to heaven
through brush
over deadfall
up
up
up
branches furrow skin
blood drips a story of ascent
marking machismo
bonding father & son
feeding Earth
stand tall
breathe thin summit air
raise your arms to unrivaled views
honor your mother
beat a track back home
down
down
down
where blistered feet breathe relief
and red trails blazed in heaven
razor your shins
secrets spin around
sweet enigmatic eyes
mysteries revealed
if you only
touch the sky~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The prompt for Poets United Think Tank Thursday was pain. When my husband Len and stepson Arthur came home from climbing Heaven's Peak in Glacier National Park, they were in pain. Although this isn't a piece about pain, I started writing it thinking about the state Len's shins upon their return.
16 comments:
Wonderfully written! I love the structure of this piece!
-Weasel =)
Wonderful, glad to have discovered your blog. :-)
I really like your take on this. Nice writing.
exhilarating!
This is breathtaking Brenda...i love it! :-)
Brenda, this is truly beautiful writing. I love the mental picture of father and son breaking trail ...and touching the sky!
Brenda this is quite beautiful!
And the photo is breathtaking!
Pamela
nicely structred indeed and well written.....thanks for this and reminding me of times in Glacier N Park
Would it be okay to kiss the sky, not just touch it? Good stuff! :)
(Here via Everyday Goddess)
The way you've placed up/up/up on the screen really makes me feel the difficulty of climbing up an incline; a reader has to struggle against the flow of reading to see up just as one struggles against gravity to climb up.
i gave you one of my weekly Goddess Awards for this outstanding post.
Come by to collect it anytime you want, if you want to.
Blissings!
What a tribute to your husband and stepson! Hard work but beautiful sights and the bonding that ocurred was well worth it. I love the style of this poem!
I love this. Elegant and sweet.
amazingly written! =D Thank for sharing^^
Beautifully written, Brenda and well worth the Everyday Goddess Award! I love the sound of "where blistered feet breathe relief".
This is so authentic! You can feel the reality in your words! Really great~
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