tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post767481911070564627..comments2023-10-10T10:41:08.501-06:00Comments on Beyond the Bozone: Miriam, wanting to be elsewherebrenda whttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00846306414656375463noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-46199897356410600222010-06-10T08:51:52.652-06:002010-06-10T08:51:52.652-06:00And this is one of my "wow" moments toda...And this is one of my "wow" moments today, reading this. Your ending is what did it.<br /><br />What I am finding is the same story, being told through several different lenses, which I find truly intriguing.<br /><br />-NicoleRaven's Wing Poetryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08576438868694047958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-53309487283390305032010-06-10T04:07:25.285-06:002010-06-10T04:07:25.285-06:00Brenda, I dig your portrait of Miriam. It flows so...Brenda, I dig your portrait of Miriam. It flows so nicely.irenehttp://enerihot.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-30297028266872859192010-06-09T19:51:54.476-06:002010-06-09T19:51:54.476-06:00Oh, I took classical piano lessons for ten years, ...Oh, I took classical piano lessons for ten years, ten hateful years. So, these two lines, "lines and spaces/had unexpectedly stiffened like sticks" said it all for me. But, the last stanza also had my heart...especially since I never could memorize one durn line. I should frame this one.Linda Goinhttp://lindagoin.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-66048812237462516592010-06-09T14:25:46.636-06:002010-06-09T14:25:46.636-06:00I love the flow of emotions, from misery, nervousn...I love the flow of emotions, from misery, nervousness, anger, "trembling", and then astonished. Yes, it makes sense. Good job!Mr. Walkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05507517064398624652noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-89364981429882251642010-06-09T12:42:35.457-06:002010-06-09T12:42:35.457-06:00oh, goody. I like that last sentence.
I couldn&...oh, goody. I like that last sentence. <br />I couldn't make it work, the time thing, but yours freshens. It was a fun place to play, wasn't it?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07490035808297516510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-55677472186546421062010-06-09T11:52:44.839-06:002010-06-09T11:52:44.839-06:00You did wonderful with it, Brenda!
- DinaYou did wonderful with it, Brenda!<br />- DinaDina Spicehttp://mypoeticlicense.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-77761013307646870882010-06-09T10:16:57.692-06:002010-06-09T10:16:57.692-06:00Wow Brenda you turned this into quite the story!
C...Wow Brenda you turned this into quite the story!<br />Cool!<br />Pamelaflauberthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18424439866515694972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-76243955711654501862010-06-09T09:57:30.419-06:002010-06-09T09:57:30.419-06:00Well I'll be darned, Angie. You done shed som...Well I'll be darned, Angie. You done shed some light on that there poem o' mine! I love the idea of dour mouthed biddies. Ha! You made me like my own poem better!<br /><br />Thank you, This has been a romping good time.brenda whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00846306414656375463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-56418226504119350492010-06-09T09:46:42.173-06:002010-06-09T09:46:42.173-06:00oh, I'm so jealous -- you got miriam into your...oh, I'm so jealous -- you got miriam into yours!!!<br /><br />it makes perfect, wonderful sense. I love the opening stanza; I see a room full of lace-collared, dour-mouthed biddies waiting for her to perform.<br /><br />hint: I just use the first erase as a base, usually; I retype it into word (but apparently our pal derrick figured out to screen-shot it!!) and then erase more (or less) so I angiehttp://therer2doors.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-36044564916637325132010-06-09T09:02:56.199-06:002010-06-09T09:02:56.199-06:00I love that first phrase! and I like the story you...I love that first phrase! and I like the story you've created for poor Miriam.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00861397533660827678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-31896016467096912862010-06-09T09:02:08.314-06:002010-06-09T09:02:08.314-06:00Well erased! Your story is so clear-it reminds me...Well erased! Your story is so clear-it reminds me of my own stage-fright days while learning the piano. Dismal events. The last lines are upbeat and give the reader hope she conquered it after all.1965 Footprintshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08640917815632990664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-54027682263114361472010-06-09T08:55:30.369-06:002010-06-09T08:55:30.369-06:00I agree Francis...that part of Erasures is annoyin...I agree Francis...that part of Erasures is annoying. But, yeah it's fun.<br />The lace in the opening stanza is never explained....but I like it, too.brenda whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00846306414656375463noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8876400310749659322.post-75667115940321271162010-06-09T08:53:07.160-06:002010-06-09T08:53:07.160-06:00That's a great opening stanza. I love the alte...That's a great opening stanza. I love the alternative narratives that emerge from this process. The Erasures site is neat, but I wish they'd let you go back and edit a piece (I had to create a second version to make a small change).Francis Scudellarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01008685302028451297noreply@blogger.com